Avoid knee-jerk reactions
‘Give yourself time to think about the situation clearly before you get upset or angry with her,’ says expert Irene Levine.
‘Ask yourself if you are upset because she has dumped you, and if this is a relationship really worth saving?”
According to the experts, if you know you’ve done something wrong, you should apologise swiftly. If you leave it too long, her negative feelings about you are likely to amplify and become entrenched.
Don’t try to be a mind-reader
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you know or understand your friend’s motives. You need to speak to her if you are to find out what is going on.
And if she just does not want to know?
‘If you have begged and cajoled and she won’t be moved, you need to respect the boundaries she has set and move on. It may have less to do with you than other things going on in her life,’ says Levine.
You will feel embarrassment, shock, anger and even grief at first – but the worst thing you can do is go around bad-mouthing your ex-friend.
Levine advises talking the experience out with one friend or family member – and accepting you may never get an explanation.
‘It will take time – but remember, these kind of episodes happen to everybody,’ she adds.
‘Try not to brood. Keep yourself busy and you are likely to find that some of your ”backseat” friends start to become more important in your life and fill the gaps.’
Look back and see what you got out of the friendship. There may be lots of positives you can take from having been her friend – or not.
‘Many women say they feel a sense of relief after being dumped,’ says Levine. ‘They realise the friendship was more taxing than it was worth.